2 years later and this day is still ingrained in my mind. The wound is still fresh, deep, and struggling to heal. I still fight with myself to hold back tears. My chest still hurts. Chest pains. Finding it hard to breathe. Living with the fact that I didn’t try hard enough. I’m sorry. I will always be sorry.

R.I.P. Alan, a.k.a. “Pooper”. This is officially the hardest day of the year for me to get through.

Miss you,

#rip  #apv  

To-Don’ts: 1. Turning off the Wi-Fi on my phone before bed.

I’ve decided to turn off my Wi-Fi before I sleep, because I tend to get distracted when I see that LED-light flashing purple, white, or blue (especially purple). It’s difficult, because I love to scroll endlessly through Twitter, Instagram and Facebook before I knock-out for the night. However, I realized my brain won’t shut off unless my phone does too. This definitely helps a lot with getting a good night’s rest, and in general helped me to resist my phone, and social media in general.

I’m working on more “To-Don’t” in order to better myself. More to come. :) 

I always fall in love with every part of the world I visit.
So in love that my heart aches when I return.
This was a blessed holiday, and an amazing getaway.
Happy I got to experience the culture, food, music, and people of New Orleans, and Mardi Gras 2014.

I’ve given up on you.

Some friendships don’t go on pause, and instead hit you when it’s over.
The sad part is that you know it’s over.
You scrape to hang on and realize the other person has absolutely no interest in keeping you in their life.
You no longer hold any significance.
You no longer make a difference.
They can live without you.
You go through every memory you made with them in your head.
You ask yourself what you did wrong.
….over and over again.
Eventually you will accept the fact that it’s over.
The end of a great friendship can feel like a break up.
Some people made such an impression on you life that their memories may haunt you forever.
No matter where you go, or what you do.
In your dreams.
You can be so happy.
But your mind will occasionally ask itself, “I wonder what they’re doing right now?”

#friendships  #end  #break up  #mbh  #al  #kr  #da  #ak  #giving up  

Freak out, let it go.

It just occurred to me (in the shower) that when (and if) I finish my Masters I’ll be 27 years old.
I stopped what I was doing (rinsing and lathering).
My head was screaming.

Moment done.

The only thing I can gather from it all so far is this: we make a great team. I never wanted a “man” … anyone who takes too much care of me would leave me intimidated and dependent on that person to always do so. I want a “life partner” … someone who works well with me and helps my growth in the most subtle way possible, and vice-versa.

I’m not ready to say that I’m 100% on board with this as my future only shows me, myself, and I. I cherish moments. I live for moments. Then the moment ends and my walls are up again. &What’s scary is, the older you get, the more likely of a chance those walls will never come down again, and the more likely you will never attempt to break down someone else’s wall. You just end up finding people who are your perfect fit, and never bend over backwards to make yourself fit ever again. Dream come true.

Welcome to your mid 20’s.

This is the life of an adult.

How bizarre is it that since 2014 has started I haven’t taken a single picture of anything remotely memorable.
I guess I’ve been doing more living… but it doesn’t kill me to stop and smell the roses.

When you find out you can live without it,
And go along not thinking about it,
I’ll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will come to you.

The Bare Necessities, The Jungle Book